It’s John from Nashville, the adman who worked with Hanley. Great to see you here. My comment on your column? It’s the definition of finding out the hard way what “a new freedom and a new happiness” really means. Like you, I spilled too much too often back then. Today, I’m relaxed. Why? Because other people’s personal habits aren’t so important to me anymore, but mine are. Like you said, if we can’t answer to ourselves, we’re not much use to anyone, including ourselves. This is what a new freedom and new happiness is!
I feel this, Tom. As someone who is in the early stages of recovery, I am constantly questioning who should know that fact. Although I would love to be a completely open book, some people would choose to close it, and whilst I may not care for their opinions or sheer indifference, it’s worth asking whether they need to know.
This phrase has been on my fingertips and lips often lately.
" I don’t owe anyone an explanation. For anything."
Usually, it's me telling someone else, "You don't ever have to explain yourself to me. I love you."
But I believe this is true whether or not someone loves us. We can certainly choose to explain ourselves, but that's our choice to own.
Despite knowing and preaching this, I still find it tough to stop speaking sometimes. I will swallow my words when I catch it, and I've gotten pretty good at not feeling the need to indulge the impulse, but it arises nonetheless.
Tom
It’s John from Nashville, the adman who worked with Hanley. Great to see you here. My comment on your column? It’s the definition of finding out the hard way what “a new freedom and a new happiness” really means. Like you, I spilled too much too often back then. Today, I’m relaxed. Why? Because other people’s personal habits aren’t so important to me anymore, but mine are. Like you said, if we can’t answer to ourselves, we’re not much use to anyone, including ourselves. This is what a new freedom and new happiness is!
Go well!
Thanks
John D
So good to hear from you, John. Thanks for reading, and for your comment.
I feel this, Tom. As someone who is in the early stages of recovery, I am constantly questioning who should know that fact. Although I would love to be a completely open book, some people would choose to close it, and whilst I may not care for their opinions or sheer indifference, it’s worth asking whether they need to know.
Thank you for this!
Thanks for reading, Ed.
This phrase has been on my fingertips and lips often lately.
" I don’t owe anyone an explanation. For anything."
Usually, it's me telling someone else, "You don't ever have to explain yourself to me. I love you."
But I believe this is true whether or not someone loves us. We can certainly choose to explain ourselves, but that's our choice to own.
Despite knowing and preaching this, I still find it tough to stop speaking sometimes. I will swallow my words when I catch it, and I've gotten pretty good at not feeling the need to indulge the impulse, but it arises nonetheless.
That is the lesson I ultimately took from the experience I wrote about.