I first published this piece prior to last year’s Super Bowl. Had I written it this year, I would have mentioned that I, for one, am happy for Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
As we approach Super Bowl Sunday, what has essentially become a national holiday, I’ve pondered what it is about the National Football League I don’t like. Why can’t I seem to get excited about it, the way so many of us do? Why don’t I care about the Super Bowl?
Allow me to issue the following disclaimer before you read further. If a team I follow or a player who inspires me was playing, it would be different. When Peyton Manning led the Colts to those Super Bowls, I was into it. And, at the risk of aging myself, there will never be another team like the 1985 Chicago Bears.
That said, I’ve been known to utter the words “I hate the NFL.” It’s not true. I don’t hate it. There are things I like about it, and I honestly believe it serves a valuable purpose in our culture.
I hate the hype. And, let’s just say, if I could choose announcers, Tony Romo would not be on my list. Tony Romo is the Bill Walton of the NFL.
I’m the guy who never even considered seeing the new Top Gun movie because of the way everyone talked about it. And, I’m glad you love Coldplay or U2 or Dave Matthews or whatever band it is you see when you attend your one concert a year. I can appreciate their music, but I’d much rather drive five hours to see a great band who practically no one knows about. Don’t ask me what band. I’m not telling you.
To me, the NFL is synonymous with hype. They want us to be excited about NFL football every day of the week and all year ‘round. They want us to be excited for football on Monday nights, and Thursday nights, and all day Sunday, and even when the Texans play the Commanders in the final game of the preseason.
No thanks. I liked it better when it was Sundays and Monday nights, back before they were so obviously trying to squeeze every last penny they could out of every team, and every player, and every fan.
Beyond the hype, as a guy who works with guys; as someone who wants to help men be better, I’d like to see us live a little more deeply. I’d like for us to be able to talk to each other about something other than football - something that actually matters.
I don’t think the fact that you’re a Jets fan, or a Cowboys fan, should be the defining characteristic of your personality. That’s not exactly sucking the marrow out of life.
Maybe spending every Sunday on the sofa to see which team kicks one more field goal than the other isn’t the best use of our time, especially if we’re miserable every other day of the week.
This brings me to the essence of my disdain for the NFL – and it’s not really the NFL. It’s the void that exists among us. NFL football, spectator sports – we use these to try to fill that void.
Think about it. Why are so many of us into football? Why do we care?
However inadequately, it does fill the void.
We all long to feel like we’re part of something. Being a fan gives us ways to connect with each other. It gives us something to talk about; to get excited about. It gives us a reason to gather and a place to go. It can be a source of collective pride. It’s about connection. It’s about community.
The competitive nature of fandom makes for endless banter. Ask any Cubs fan what that was like before 2016 – probably like being a Browns fan. We all enjoy having a butt of jokes much more than being the butt of jokes. Either way, it reminds us we belong. We’re part of a community.
It’s also about connection with the people we love. A fair share of the memories I have with my family, especially with my parents, involve watching Notre Dame football, Indiana basketball, and Chicago Cubs baseball. We bonded around these things more than the NFL. That’s why the Super Bowl doesn’t matter as much to me.
Last Saturday, when my Hoosiers beat number one Purdue, I got choked up as I watched time expire and the student body spill onto the court. I didn’t get choked up because Indiana won. I got choked up because of the similar moments of sadness and joy that I shared with my mom and dad over the years, like the moment in the spring of 1987 when Keith Smart hit that shot before the buzzer in New Orleans. It’s not about love for the game or love for the team. It’s about love for my family.
Finally, it's about our connection with ourselves. So many of us go through life pretending not to feel. We suppress our emotions, both good and bad. We only allow ourselves to express certain feelings, publicly or privately. But, come kickoff time Sunday evening, all bets are off. People will show excitement and joy and frustration and sadness.
After the game, men will shed tears on behalf of, and perhaps even with, one of the Kelce brothers.
We will show exuberance like we never do in the workplace, where we spend a third of our lives.
It frees us. It gives us a time when we can not only be who we are - we can show who we are.
These are the reasons why I love, and why I think we love, spectator sports. I think it’s why the NFL is alluring to so many of us.
I love it, and I hate it. I hate it because I wish we didn’t need it. I wish there wasn’t a void to fill.
I wish more men could talk to each other about something more important than football.
I wish we were all better at connecting with each other, so ball games wouldn’t matter to so many of us . . . for reasons we might not understand.
I wish more of us would follow our hearts and create lives that give us purpose, rather than spending precious years tolerating the work week.
I wish we would learn to enjoy every day of our lives, rather than spending the entire week wishing for Friday. Or Sunday.
I wish we were less inhibited, so we wouldn’t need to watch sporting events to do what comes naturally - show emotion.
But, right now, most of all, I wish the Indianapolis Colts were good at football. Then I too could have a reason to be excited about Super Bowl Sunday.