Something Men Can Learn from the Beatles
They Showed Us How to Change
On a blustery day in 1969, The Beatles, set up to play on the rooftop of their London studios, and delivered what was to be their final public performance. Film makers dispatched crew members with microphones into the crowd who heard the commotion and began to gather and grow on this midday on Saville Row.
Although many of the documented responses from people on the street below were positive, expressions of surprise and joy and gratitude, as many people complained. This spontaneous event disrupted the flow of business in the district. Police arrived at the scene in response to a flurry of calls from annoyed merchants. Officers saw it as disturbing the peace and threatened to arrest people at Apple if the noise didn’t cease.
And, in this moment, as what was to become one of the most iconic performances in rock music history took place, one man said, “it’s a bloody stupid place to have a concert.”
“Do you like them (the Beatles),” a man with a microphone asked him.
“No.”
“No?”
“Nope,” the man said.
“Not at all?”
“Not now,” he said. “They’ve changed completely.” He was apparently disappointed that the band who sang “Love Me do” evolved into the band who sang “Let it Be.”
As the saying goes, change is the only constant. And this, life’s one true constant, is the one thing many of us resist most often, and most violently. Any public figure who represents a significant cultural or creative shift is met with hostility, and even hatred. Popular music is filled with examples of this phenomenon.
When the Beatles arrived in America, people complained that they wore their hair long, unlike most men at the time. Before that, scores of parents reviled Elvis Presley because of the unusual way he moved his hips on stage. And, although it’s hard to imagine modern music without the electric guitar, at what was arguably the defining moment in rock ‘n’ roll history, when Bob Dylan, who fans had categorized as a protest singer, plugged in his amplifiers at Newport Folk, he had to crank up the volume to drown out the chorus of boos.
In hindsight, we regard all these artists as heroes in popular culture. Eventually, Dylan won the Nobel Prize for Literature. And, we can see that in changing from the band who captured girls’ hearts with songs like “She Loves You,” to the band who made them stomp their feet to “Get Back,” John, Paul, George, and Ringo became eternally incomparable. Many consider them the greatest band to ever play.
Now, perhaps more than ever, men are lost.
As emerging adult males search for direction, and most of us acknowledge a need for a paradigm shift relating to manhood, the loudest voices addressing the topic shout in support of what they describe as “traditional” values, “traditional” manhood. They insist that the way we think about manhood should remain the same.
The only change some will abide, is the type that takes us backwards, where male dominance in relationships remains firmly intact, and where women not only resign to a submissive role, they believe to entertain any other option would be insane, if not evil.
They’re just like the guy on Saville Row, who doesn’t like the Beatles anymore.
I am among the people who love all the music the Beatles produced at their various stages of evolution. And, although I already love men, and love being a man, I think we can do a lot better. I see a need for a change in our basic assumptions about manhood, beginning with the idea that women are emotional and men are not.
As men, we must reconcile our relationships with our emotions. I believe that’s the only way forward.
There are legions of men and women out there who will have you believe people like me hate men, and will completely destroy manhood if we have our way. I’m here to tell you these are the same people who hated “Abbey Road” because it wasn’t “A Hard Day’s Night.” They support the status quo of masculinity, which requires that, by and large, men pretend not to experience emotions. Many of them would have us go backward to a time when we all said, no matter what, boys don’t cry.
Drug addiction and pornography addiction are at epidemic proportions. Many of us are traumatized in one way or another. People, and most often boys, are buying assault rifles and murdering children en masse. Marriages that end in divorce outnumber those that survive, not to mention that many people in those that do survive are doing just that - surviving. They don’t seem all that happy.
We can’t keep looking at all the ills of society as unrelated. And, a common thread in the fabric of all the aforementioned is emotional immaturity.
Reading that sentence may have even hurt your feelings. Imagine that.
I have come to understand that acknowledging and experiencing my emotions makes me more of a man, not less of one. Because I’ve learned this, I am more masculine than before.
I love that last Beatles performance. And, here is what I love most about it. Rather than singing “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” or any of their many hits from that rooftop, Paul sang “I’ve Got a Feeling.” As the kids might say, it’s a banger.
It’s just like that song.
Choosing to live as men in connection with our emotions may not be what we’re used to. But, it’s far more exciting than the alternative.
It takes courage to make a change like this. The Beatles had it. We all have it. It’s only a question of whether we will summon the courage it takes to change in the interest of remaining true to ourselves, just as those four men did.
John, Paul, George, and Ringo – none of them cared that some people didn’t like them anymore because “they changed completely.”
After reconciling my own relationship with my emotions, neither do I.
And, I assure you, after reconciling your relationship with your emotions, neither will you.
Hey folks,
If you’re a music fan, and havent yet seen The Beatles: Get Back, it’s worth a month’s subscription to Disney+ just to watch it.
I tried something a little different with this post. First, I embedded the post of The Podcast episode, for paid subscribers, where I read this piece. Second, I released this post for paid subscribers, along with that one, on Thursday.
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Have a great weekend.
