“Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling.”
-Carl Jung
Over the weekend, I saw a post on Instagram from a guy who presents himself as a men’s coach. In it, he stated clearly and explicitly that under absolutely no circumstances should a man ever cry. It just astounds me that it is 2024 and people still go through life and make decisions rooted in this belief. Even more bizarre, I see people conveying messages like this as if they yield groundbreaking information.
The first act of self-abandonment is avoiding our emotional experience.
We function as though emotions aren’t important and it’s just not true. Generally, we prefer thinking over feeling. But, we will never think our way out of feeling something, no matter how hard we try. Not even crying.
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I’m convinced that most, if not all, our problems, both as a society and as individuals, could be sorted out pretty easily if we were more connected to ourselves and our emotions. But, the status quo relies upon this disconnection. The more emotionally intelligent we become, the less likely we are to be manipulated.
This week’s definition is for the word alexithymia – difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses. It’s pervasive in our culture, especially with men. It’s why I decided to create the Glossary of Feelings.
All the work I do pertains to this. I spend time every day trying to help people identify and overcome their alexithymia.
If you can’t effectively articulate your feelings, how good can you possibly be in close relationships? Not very good. Mediocre at best.
Emotions are the currency of connection.
Glossary of Feelings entry XI
Alexithymia (noun)
difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses
This Week in History
March 17, 1863 - Homer Plessy, American Creole shoemaker and civil rights pioneer (plaintiff in landmark U.S. Supreme Court case Plessy v. Ferguson 1896), was born in New Orleans, Louisiana.
March 18, 1325 - According to legend, Tenochtitlan is founded on this date on an island in what was then Lake Texcoco in the Valley of Mexico.
March 19, 1882 - First stone laid for the Sagrada Familia basilica in Barcelona, designed by Antoni Gaudí.
March 20, 1852 - Harriet Beecher Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was published in Boston.
March 21, 1925 - Tennessee governor Austin Peay passes the "Butler Act," making Tennessee the first state to outlaw teaching the theory of evolution.
March 22, 1638 - Religious dissident Anne Hutchinson expelled from Massachusetts Bay Colony.
March 23, 1775 - Patrick Henry proclaims "give me liberty or give me death" in speech in favor of Virginian troops joining the US Revolutionary war.
What I’m Reading
Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy
Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002, by David Sedaris
The Atlantic
What I’m Watching
Warrior on Max
Shogun on Hulu
The Regime on HBO
What I’m Listening To
89/93: An Anthology, Uncle Tupelo
Ill Communication, The Beastie Boys
Journaling Prompt for the Week #12 of 2024
Do you abandon yourself and, if so, how? In what areas of your life do you avoid your emotional experiencing?
Thanks for reading. Have a great week.