It Takes a Particular Type of Courage to Be Yourself
The Memo for Monday, April 15, 2024
“But your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it you will find all your paths.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters to a Young Poet
My son turns 18 on Friday. As some of you already know, he is in the process of deciding where he will attend college. He has narrowed it down to two schools, one exceptional, and the other, even more exceptional.
To say I am proud of him is an understatement. It goes without saying. But, what seems far more important to me is that I respect him.
I respect him because he has demonstrated the courage to be true to himself no matter what. In doing so, he has availed himself of opportunities that would not otherwise exist.
The older I get, the more I value solitude, and silence. More and more, I realize I cannot know myself without these things. In a world of endless stimuli, experiencing solitude seems like the only way I can deepen and strengthen my sense of self.
It requires putting down my damn phone. Like many of us, I struggle with that.
So, I marvel at someone like my son, from Gen Z, who, despite having been bombarded with push notifications his entire life, manages to come of age knowing who he is.
As you see below, yesterday, my childhood hero, Pete Rose, turned 83 years old. It baffles me that someone who boasts his list of accomplishments, and who dominated the game the way he did, could also bring it all crashing down in ruin.
The thing is, someone like Pete Rose, who sits atop the mountain, distracting himself all the while from the life he worked so hard to create, engaging in compulsive behavior that constantly threatens it, doesn’t know himself. What he does know of himself, he doesn’t like.
With every bit of hustle that he ran the basepaths, Pete Rose runs from himself. He avoids himself.
I suppose the reason I know this is because I ran from myself. So, I know what that looks like. I know how it feels. I know what kind of courage and determination it takes to run toward yourself, rather than away from yourself.
That’s the kind of courage that, at 18 years, my son has, and Pete Rose probably never will.
Glossary of Feelings entry XV
Kind (adjective)
of a sympathetic or helpful nature
of a forbearing nature : GENTLE
arising from or characterized by sympathy or forbearance
This Week in History
April 14, 1941 – Pete Rose, American baseball player, Major League Baseball’s all-time leader in hits; 17-time All-Star; National League MVP in 1973; World Series MVP in 1975; World Series Champion in 1975 and ‘76 with the Cincinnati Reds, and in 1980 with the Philadelphia Phillies; manager of the Cincinnati Reds from 1984 to ‘89, who was banned from baseball for life for gambling, was born in Cincinnati, Ohio.
April 15, 2024 – the former President of the United States goes on trial (a first), in the State of New York, on 34 criminal charges of falsifying business records.
April 16, 1178 BCE – a solar eclipse may have marked the return of Odysseus, legendary King of Ithaca, to his kingdom after the Trojan War.
April 17, 1492 – Christopher Columbus signed a contract with the Spanish monarchs to find the "Indies" with the stated goal of converting people to Catholicism. He was promised 10 percent of all riches found, and the governorship of any lands he encountered.
April 18, 1783 – George Washington issued General Order announcing the end of hostilities with Britain, giving thanks to the Almighty, and offering congratulations and authorizing an extra ration of alcohol to the troops to celebrate.
April 19, 1927 – Actress Mae West found guilty of “obscenity and corrupting the morals of youth” in a New York stage play entitled "Sex." She was sentenced to 10 days in prison and fined $500, the resulting publicity launched her Hollywood career.
April 20, 1769 – Ottawa leader Pontiac, believed to be 48 or 49 years old, was murdered by a Peoria warrior.
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What I’m Reading
Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy
The Atlantic
What I’m Watching
Manhunt on Apple TV+
Franklin on Apple TV+
Shogun on Hulu
What I’m Listening To
Flyin’ Saucers Rock & Roll, Billy Lee Riley
Pandemonium Shadow Show, Harry Nilsson
Journaling Prompt for the Week #16 of 2024
Describe your relationships with silence and solitude. How comfortable are you, and how long can you be comfortable, when you are alone? How do you respond to silence? Are you more introverted or extroverted? Are you energized by interactions with others or by time to yourself?
Thanks for reading. Have a great week.